When I grew up, our Christmas tree was decorated with tinsel and gigantic colored outdoor sized lights. I LOVED STRINGING THE TINSEL ON one strand at a time! We had some plain colored balls, ornaments my sister and I made in the innumerable craft classes we were enrolled in and a few special ornaments my mother had managed to collect on her meager budget. My sister and I also made paper chains, strung popcorn and cranberries and when we finished decorating the tree we thought it was simply magnificent. Oh yeah! And the tree was one of the really cheap, really thin "Charlie Brown" variety trees which were the only ones that we could afford.
Did I grow up feeling deprived of Christmas joy?! Absolutely not. Why didn’t I? I think it was because I got to participate in the holiday, make crafts and help out. My mother wasn’t worried about our tree being drop-dead-gorgeous or looking like a magazine spread (which there weren’t many of anyway). She just wanted us children to have a really special holiday.
Since my girls are grown, when I ask what their special memories of Christmas are, it’s quite interesting to note which ones made a deep impression. One year we did a 10 foot tall Victorian pink and blue tree (mid-80’s 🙂 ) They loved that tree and we still have some of the paper ornaments from it that they enjoy. Another year, the year that their Dad was dying from cancer, we went to Hawaii for two weeks and decided to make a Hawaiian Christmas tree by decorating sea shells and making our own ornaments. Those ornaments have become a treasure for the both of them. Another year I invited all of the neighborhood kids to come to an ornament making day at out house (their parents contributed $5 and I shopped wholesale so they made some spectacular ornaments!) we did a natural Christmas theme with pine cones and tartan plaid ribbons and still use those ornaments that have survived on our tree today (if we’re going with a red and green theme). Do you see the theme here on which Christmas’ were memorable to them? The ones they created something themselves, can look at the ornaments or decorations today and recall the memories. There’s something about connecting with tangible objects that helps us to store lifelong memories.
Too many of us crafty or artistic types want our homes and Christmas trees to be spectacular and don’t leave room for our children to have fun and participate in the holiday. When they hang their ornaments "in the wrong place" we move them. The colors they pick out "don’t go together" or clash with this year’s tree theme. We make everything perfect and leave them feeling like they don’t quite measure up. We don’t do it intentionally, but it’s very easy to do and the wound hurts whether it was meant to be a wound or not.
The last two years, I have turned over the Christmas tree decorating to my two girls who are still at home. They have had so much fun doing it and I’ve had an amazingly fun time watching them! They’ve done the tree very differently from what I would do, but it’s been fabulous nonetheless. This year I’m even thinking about giving in on one of my biggest pet peeves…. colored lights! I do not like colored Christmas lights, I like simple, elegant white lights. Sooooooo, of course my children crave colored lights. It will take everything within me to give in on this one, but I think I finally will, that is with one caveat… no blinking colored lights. I can’t stand flashing strands of tree lights either (I can handle individually twinkling lights).
You see, we all have our individual tastes and ways of expressing our love of the holidays. But it’s so important to remember that we need to nurture our children so that they can deveop their own creativity, rather than make our home a showplace for outsiders.
Have you thought about how you can involve your children (or grandchldren, or neighborhood children if you don’t have any of your own) in the holiday decorating, starting with Thanksgiving? Can you think of some simple projects to do with them? How about showcasing their school projects on a front entry way table if you have one? What about having them make a wreath for your front door out of construction paper, scrapbook papers or ? You might look in one of the many craft magazines and see if there’s some project that would be suitable for their ages and your patience level. Then while you’re doing the project, tell them some stories about why you celebrate the holidays in a particular way, or share some special memories of the holidays you had in your youth. These are the memoies that are stored away deep in their souls and nourish them their whole life through!
THE PROVERB OF THE DAY: Prov 6:20-22 0 My son, keep your father’s commands and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. NIV
AJ, tell you girls to come right ahead and help me decorate our Christmas tree. I don’t have any children to help so I will welcome anyone that wants to help.
They can come do mine also. My children are all gone away do I now have a
charlie brown tree.
What a beautiful story about your Christmas memories. I hope that Olivia will one day be able to tell some sweet things about our Christmas. I do let her decorate the bottom half with child safe ornaments and I do the top half in our breakables that I would like to able to hand down to her. I love all lights. I have the old fashion blinking ones too but I also love white…that is why I usually do two trees. Thanks for sharing that story.
I gave up on having the ‘perfect’ Christmas tree a long time ago!
DH & I went to the store to buy out first Christmas tree & ‘designer’ theme trimmings. I never could get it to look just right, like the display. It lasted for a year or two, then I started to decorate “my way”.
Just think AJ, this year your girls will remember it as “the year mom let us use colored lights”. 🙂 You can get the kind that has a variety of settings. When your in the room, then lights can be steady. When you are in the studio, the disco tree can be lite. LOL You can even use two kinds of lights. The white ones when you are in the room, the flashy ones when your not 🙂 Or do two trees, like KittyDog!
AJ, Your childhood memories of Christmas sound like a lot of great memories! It is fun to look back as to the way it was.
Thanks for writing this and taking me back to the past.
What special memories you have shared with us! I, too, decorated my tree with all of the goodies and ornaments that my children had made in school throughout the years. They have fun looking for that “special” ornament they made in Kindergarten, or 5th grade or whenever.
When we were growing up, it was always my job to put the tinsel on the tree. I lovede that stuff. I was really sad when they “new and improved it”. It was never the same and we ended up switching to garland. That sure was a hard change for me. I had to search and search for just the right garland so it would look old fashioned. My dad loves birds so he always wanted lots and lots of feathered birds on the tree. He also had an old banana ornament from a grand parent and his pickles to hang on the tree. Our trees might not have been artistic but they held lots of memories. We had homemade ornaments and ornaments we picked up on vacation, etc. Each year, as we hung the orrnaments, there were always memories to share about what we were hanging. My nephew would help with the tree as he grew up and heard all of the stories. When he was little, he would help arrange the manger scene that was tradition for us to put under the tree. We let him decide where the pieces would go and didn’t worry if it was the way we would have done it. The set was one my parents had gotten when they were first married. It had lots of different animals, shepherds, angels, houses, bridges, wells, etc. besides the main figures.
“This year I’m even thinking about giving in on one of my biggest pet peeves…. colored lights! I do not like colored Christmas lights, I like simple, elegant white lights. ”
You’re just not doing the colored lights right. You need a flocked tree (not the all white but a green one that looks like it has snow) and then put a colored light on each branch. It reflects the color onto the white and is beautiful.
Well, now I’m laughing a little bit, cause my oldest is 15…going on 25 (has been since she was 4!)…and she rolls her eyes when we are decorating the Christmas tree with handmade ornaments from years past. As each ornament is put on, I always “remember” when she and her 12yo brother made it and how cute they were and their cute sayings. She pretends to be not interested, but I continue on because I know that one day she will do the same to her child. 🙂
One of my favorite tradtitions at our house is cookie ditch day. Since weekends are always so busy (and since it’s fun to feel like you are getting away with something!) One day I keep my kids home from school and we spend the whole day listening to Christmas cds and baking cookies. (with maybe a little silly dancing 😉 ) (Beth, I LOVE that idea!! Wish I would have thought of it when my kids were young. I’m so glad you shared it because I know someone else will grab it and make some wonderful memories! AJ)
I think some of the most beautiful Christmas tree’s aren’t the ones adorned with expensive ornaments and fancy lights, but ones adorned with love. Pictures of our loved ones, hand crafted ornaments of years gone by created by the hands of a child, an old antique ornament which might not be the “prettiest” but belong to someone you loved so dearly. These are the trees that have soul and meaning and by far are the most beautiful.