This is my dear Uncle John and his wife Aunt Betty last Friday.  It was the last day that he was really alert and communicative.  He was always thin, but grew so much more so with the ravages of cancer.  They were so cute together.

The first time I met him, I was thirteen.  He came to San Diego to meet my mother and us girls after his brother, Joe Rogers married "us."  I fell in love with him immediately.  I remember laughing because he felt so cold in San Diego where it was 50 degrees, yet he lived in Anchorage!  He said it was so damp that 50 degrees felt colder to him than 0 degrees that were very dry!

I then was invited to come spend time with them in Alaska the summer between my Sophmore and Junior years in 1974.  My aunt and uncle had never had children and yet were fabulous with the children that shared their lives.  They made me feel very welcome and communicated that they enjoyed my visit immensely.  I, of course, had the time of my life camping, fishing and dirt biking!

The day I arrived there, they took me to a Mexican restaurant to make me feel at home (and ordered me a full on Margarita!)  From then on the trip was one amazing encounter after another.

 Uncle Johnny took me flying almost immediately and it seemed so easy until he said, "By the way, we won’t land until you land us!"  Then my heart began to race, my palms got sweaty and I began to panic.   But Uncle Johnny’s calm voice and clear instructions made it so easy that I made a perfect landing my very first time.  We flew several times in the three weeks I was there and if I had been interested enough to pursue it, I know that I could have done so successfully.  All because he had confidence in me and managed to instill that confidence in my heart as well.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what it was that made my Uncle Johnny such a special person.  I thought through my encounters with him (which by the way, were way too few over my lifetime) and the impressions that he left on my heart… the legacy he left in my life.  These are the things I remember most about him:

1. Uncle Johnny was always positive.  I can’t remember a single conversation with him where he was negative or critical.  I can only think of a few people in my life that I could make that statement about.  I’m sure that he and his wife had these types of discussions, but if he felt negatively about a person or a situation, he didn’t feel the need to communicate it widely to those around him. 
2. Uncle Johnny was an encourager.  He saw the potential in people and drew success out of them.  He believed in hard work and applying yourself to the task and that if you did, you could accomplish what you set out to do.  He saw the potential in others that perhaps they hadn’t even seen in themselves.
3. As a teacher he was very patient and kind.  He was a flight instructor for decades and one of the things I discovered about him this weekend was that he taught women almost exclusively!  He got a reputation early on, of being wonderful with women students.  Soon, women who had begun lessons with other male instructors only to have them get frustrated and irritated (often making them cry), came to him for instruction.  He helped them sail through to gain their pilot’s licenses, and confidence in themselves through the process.
4. Uncle Johnny had a sunny and bright disposition and had a terrific sense of humor.  Teasing, but with good natured fun, never biting, cutting or cynical.  I will always remember his wonderful laugh.
5. Uncle Johnny won many awards and recognitions for his work and all of them were based on who he was as a man and how readily his character shown through in all that he set about to accomplish in his career.  He was Flight Instructor of the Year for his entire region in Alaska.

Why do I share this with you?  Because in thinking about it over the past couple of days, I’ve come to realize that we all leave a legacy behind us.  It is written on the hearts of those we love.  Sometimes that legacy is full and rich, sometimes it will be very thin — but in all cases it is there for good or bad.  A legacy really has very little to do with accomplishments or riches, but with the character that has been built in our hearts and the relationships we have built with those around us.

With the complicated lives we lead, not many of us are able to think too far beyond tomorrow or next week.  Have you ever stopped to think what legacy you would like to leave with those you love?  Is there a legacy of faith, belief, ethics or service, that you have thought of passing on to others?  What do you think that those who are the closest to you would have to say about your influence on their lives?  Have you added to them and made them better for having known you?  Some day each of us will be gone and others will remember us, as I am remembering my dear Uncle John.

He was such a humble man that I doubt he had any inkling of how he was perceived — it was just the man he had come to be, from the inside out, that made such a wonderful impression on others.  When I thought more on this aspect, I thought about how little most of us know of how we are perceived.  Often our perceptions of ourselves are quite different than the perceptions others have of us, and not always for the better .  What we feel in the depths of our heart isn’t always making it to the hearts of others as we might want it to.  Sometimes we don’t really hear our own tone of voice or even recognize the number of times we might be frustrated, negative or critical instead of encouraging to others. 

I want to challenge you to pray a really scary prayer.  This is a prayer that can literally change your life and the impact your life leaves on the world around you.   

"Lord, help me to see myself as others see me, and more importantly how You see me.  Help me to hear myself more clearly and to hear the general tone of my conversations.  Am I routinely enthusiastic,encouraging and uplifting or pessimistic and negative?  Do I communicate positively, kindly and lovingly or am I sharp and irritated more often than I realize?  I really want to leave a legacy of love in the lives that are part of mine, show me how I can do that more effectively. 

"Also Lord, help me to discern the values that I hold dear and want to share with those I love, that their lives might be more blessed for having known me.   Give me a sense of purpose for my own life and the ability to leave a legacy of faith, love and inspiration in those who come behind me.  AMEN"

Audrey Jeanne Roberts