Overcoming Fear, Anxiety and Worry (and a Little on Grandchildren!)

We took 5 rolls of film when we visited our grandbaby, Ellington.  My daughter forgot to pick up the film this afternoon, so she’ll pick it up for me tomorrow.  Then I’ll be able to post pics of the family-tug-of-war we held over him.  Since he was not only the first grandchild all around, but also the first nephew to each of our children, we fought over him incessantly!

It’s such an emotional journey becoming a grandmother.  You don’t have control.  You struggle with that concept then you discover that’s actually the fun of it!  You let go, and let someone else enjoy learning to be a mother/father.  Your job is to just enjoy the baby.  Watching your child parent, you have flashbacks to your first days as a mother — and you try to remember that there ever was a time you weren’t known as "Mom!"  You hold a tiny bundle in your arms, knowing more than you ever have before, how fleeting that moment is and how soon you will look up to the little boy that now fits into your arms and nestles under your chin.

Remembering back to my first days as a mother, I recalled the wonder and adventure it was to learn everything about the new little child that was mine to care for.  I was sometimes overwhelmed and afraid and the rest of the time felt like I had been her mother forever and knew exactly what to do!  It was a time of great growth and incredible sleep-deprivation.  It was fun to watch Ariane go through all of the same emotions and experiences and becoming so proficient at being Ellington’s mother. 

Being in touch with my memories made me think of something I would like to share with you, just in case some of you are struggling in difficult financial (or other) times right now.  When I was first pregnant with my daughter Jennifer, her dad, my late husband Jim, lost his job with Sears.  It was during the 1980-81 recession and unemployment was over 10%.  It’s easy for us now to have a heart attack when the rate is just over 5%, but that rate is lower than almost every other time in our country’s history.   For perspective, we’d have given anything to see that rate when Jim was unemployed because when unemployment reaches 10% you can’t even find a job at McDonalds! 

At each stage of my pregnacy I had so many things to worry about.  How would we pay for my prenatal care and birthing costs since it was now a pre-existing condition?  I worried and worried.  I thought about it night and day.  I would turn it over to the Lord, then take it back.  After a long battle I was finally, half-heartedly able to pray "with thanksgiving."  That meant my prayers went from panicked cries for help to ones like this, "Thank you Lord that though I can’t figure out how you are going to take care of this, I trust that you will.  Thank you for providing the money for us to have this baby." 

One day, three months into the pregnancy I received a very plain little post card that was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen before or since!  It asked us if we would like to continue paying for our Kaiser Health Insurance at the cost of $35 a month for the family.  You have no idea how fast that postcard was back in the mail with a check attached!  I had battled to trust the Lord and he provided a way where there didn’t appear to be a path forward.  I had no idea how he could provide, but he did.  Each month we were able to make the insurance premium and in the end it cost me only $2 to check her out of the hospital — which was to pay for the phone service!

There were many other financial stresses during that time.  We lacked groceries at times and just when the cupboard was bare four bags of groceries would be left on the front porch after someone rang the bell and ran.  At one point we got three months behind in our house payments and came very close to our home going into foreclosure.  Because of pride, my husband had not told his parents that he had lost his job.  The crisis with our mortgage finally brought him to the place of opening up to them.  He was afraid of their reaction, but of course they came to our rescue in amazing ways.  They had the resources to save our home, provided for our needs and even more importantly helped their son get moving towards finding a new job.  I’m in tears as I recall the incredible loving support of my in-laws.  They are amazing people who have blessed my life in so many ways.

Still, night after night I had fearful dreams, racing thoughts and battled fears of what would happen in the near future.  But I began to learn that the worry never changed anything.  What changed our circumstances was being transparent with family and friends (and the Lord in prayer).  When we were able to confess our need, they were able to step up and meet it, AND BE BLESSED BY DOING SO.  Help came from every side.  All we had to do was let go of our pride and ask for help.  Help came in many forms, some inexplicable and heaven-sent, but most often God met our needs through the loving hands and hearts of those who shared our lives.  

In retrospect those tough times were some of the most fruitful in my life.  They changed me forever.  I wouldn’t choose to go back for anything, but I also wouldn’t trade a single day of the struggle either.  It was the struggle to overcome that  made me who I am today.  In all these things God taught me the truth of the verse: Phil 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  NIV

If you’re struggling with anything today that is just too big for you to handle, too painful to cope with, or too fearful to contemplate, please stop and pray this prayer with me.  God is able, but more importantly, God is willing to handle every burden you entrust to Him.

PRAYER:  Lord, I’m struggling with some of the most overwhelming things I’ve ever had to deal with in my lifetime.  I don’t know where the answer is going to come from.  My mind cycles over and over, worrying about it, being anxious and fretting.  Help me to learn how to "be anxious for nothing but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving" to present my requests to you. 

Teach me to trust.  Give me courage everytime my heart races with fear.  Give me hope when all around me looks hopeless and use my current circumstances to make me a better, stronger more faithful person.  I’m trusting you to lead the way through this circumstance.  Amen

 

18 thoughts on “Overcoming Fear, Anxiety and Worry (and a Little on Grandchildren!)”

  1. Yes, our God is a good, good God even when times are tough. Our family has been in some tough times and God has blessed through ways we couldn’t even imagine. Bless His Holy name!

  2. You have done it again, AJ! You have heard my pleas and given me the prayer I needed. Thank you dear friend. (Oh no, friend, this one came out of the blue. I wasn’t planning to write in this direction at all 🙂 You get to credit a higher source of inspiration on this one! Hugs, aj)

  3. AJ Thank you so much! How I needed this today! GOD is working through you again. I am printing this to help me through this tough time. GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOU!
    Dianalyn

  4. AJ, thank you so much for posting this in your blog today! It was so inspiring! I’m saving a copy of the prayer to keep with me. In todays troubled times I’m sure I’ll be using it over and over! Bless you!

  5. AJ,

    Thank you for another wonderful and inspirational thread on your blog. I know you touched me and your words are sure to help others going through hard times.
    I too have had to learn how to let go and let the Lord provide for us. When I married 40 years ago, I vowed to love and cherish, for “richer” or “poorer”. There have been many a day, month and year, when I wondered how “poorer” we would become. And everytime – I ended up spending useless hours “worrying” – because as you said – “Worrying” does absolutely nothing to help. Learning to let go of the “worry” and put myself in a position to do constructive things to help and keeping the Faith that is so “freely” available to me – isn’t always easy. But I’m always amazed “still” that everytime I think, it can’t get worse, or how will we manage….the Lord provides.
    Thank YOU for always sharing a part of your heart and thoughts with us all.
    BTW – I am so glad you got to visit and hug and love your dear wee grandson. Grandbabies are such a wonderful way to start people. Enjoy him.

  6. What an amazing story and life you’ve had, AJ! So very inspiring and I’m sitting here tearing up just thinking about how good God is and all we have to do is just trust. How easy it is to forget that simple little thing. Blessings to you, AJ!

  7. Thanks you AJ your prayer is just lovely and so is your story You story is
    very inspirational you are the greatest.

  8. Hi there Audrey Jeanne, thank you so much for you timely word, as a carer for my Mum, I needed those words, thanks.
    I find God has a way of getting my attention somehow and today it was through you. 🙂

  9. AJ, I really needed to hear this today. Many days I just feel overwhelmed with stuff to do. Just not enough hours in the day. My mother is back in the hospital for the 4th time since October 2007. She lives with us and it is up to me to take care of her as I am an only child. She will be 90 on June the 2nd. Also have power-of-attorney for an 83 year old cousin and handle all her finances. She is in an assisted living home. My doctor has told me that I have to rest more (but when?…easier said than done) and lower the stress level. Maybe when tax season is done things will be better. I have 4 tax returns to get done. I have 3 of them done but don’t have mine done yet….which is the hardest to do. Don’t have much time left to get it done so it is high priority. Thanks for the prayer.

  10. Thank you so much for your prayer today. I’ve struggled with “worries” off and on for years and this prevented me from sleeping properly which of course added to my problems. Your prayer said it all and I’m printing it to keep and pray.

  11. Thank you. You have reminded me of the times that the world was winning and I trusted God – and He won.

  12. Hi Audrey, what a beautiful story of faith regarding what happened to you after your husbands unemployment. The Lord blesses us in many, many ways, it is our job to find those blessings. Even if we can’t see them at the moment, we are still blessed with every breath we take.

    I can see that you do not lack in that area. You do a great job of finding your blessings! They are abundant in everyone’s lives, we just need to be grateful for all.

    Thanks for your faith and the strength to share it with others!

    Denise

  13. I remember the days of being a new mommy 😀

    I worried so much about being a good mommy for the first time. By the time the second one came along, I thought I was a pro. LOL

    Each child is new & different. Each one is another kind of flower.

    They are all different, but they are also beautiful & you love them all.

    Family is like a beautiful flower bouquet 😀

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