Do you struggle under the curse of perfectionism?  Do you measure everything you are or do against some mythical, unreachable standard and always feel that you come up short?  Most of us struggle with understanding the balance between perfection and excellence.

I hope this post will help bring a little perspective to your struggle.  The following is from a book a wrote some years ago called, "Walking With God in the Garden of My Heart."  It was published by Harvest House Publishers, but is now out of print.  In fact, I had inadvertantly given away my last copy so I recently purchased one on line for myself!

"As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 103:13-14"

As a classic, firstborn, overachiever perfectionist, one of the earliest lessons I had to learn was perfection simply isn't possible in the garden.  I can try all I like, but my garden never looks like the gardens I see in magazine spreads.  I was frustrated until I read something that set my heart free.

The story was written by a gardener whose yard had recently been featured in a national magazine.  She revealed the behind-the-scenes manipulations required to turn out those "perfect" garden shots.

She knew a year in advance the timing of the photo shoot, so she planted anything and everything that would bloom during that month.  As planned, her garden was spectacular, but afterwrd there would be very few flowers blooming in it for the rest of the year.

To shoot close-ups, the photographers meticulously picked off every dead leaf from her potted plants and picked blossoms from other parts of the garden, tucking them in to "enhance" the shots.  Her potted plants were moved all over the yard and even secretly tucked into bare spots so they would photograph a little better.  To sum it up, she confessed that her garden bore about as much relationship to achievable reality as a 5' 10", 120 pound runway model does to the average woman.

I'm glad that the Gardener of my heart is so much more realistic and relaxed in His approach.  He understands my frame.  He knows there wil be seasons of great beauty and abundant harvest and seasons where I am bare and dormant.  He much prefers year-round excellence to spectacular short-lived perfection.  He understands that when I am at my "peak glory" I'm only two weeks away from being bloomed out and bedraggled.  He doesn't berate me for my natural limitations; He tucks new little plants in under the cover of the old so that I can continue bringing Him pleasure. 

I still wrestle with perfectionism.  I easily panic when a weed sprouts up in my heart or I feel I failed to perform up to my capabilities.  I don't allow for the frailty that is my human nature — but my Father the Gardener does.  He understands me.  He loves me, and He thinks I'm pretty special — dead leaves and all.

Lord, I have such a hard time with having unrealistic expectations and then feeling like a failure.  Help me to understand who I am, how You made me and what Your expectations are of me.  Help me to quit comparing myself to others and strive for excellence, not perfection.

Audrey Jeanne Roberts