Giving the Benefit of the Doubt

I have been thinking about this topic all week long and then my dear friend Stacey got "shoulded" on… as in "How dare you make a mistake you should have…"  Someone took offense at a simple mistake, and hurt someone precious to everyone at D.A.I.S.I.E. Company.  Why is it easier for people get angry at an inconvenience and feel put out than to choose to be kind and understanding?  Perhaps these kinds of things happen too easily in our society because we've lost the genteel art of "giving someone the benefit of the doubt."

Do you remember hearing that phrase when you were growing up?  I do.  It was a common place, communal wisdom.  Do you remember hearing it lately?  I haven't.

Giving the benefit of the doubt.  It's as simple as assuming the best about someone, rather than jumping to the worst possible conclusion.  Taking a moment to stop and try to put yourself in someone else's shoes.  To give the same grace you would like to have given back to you.  These are some precious foundation stones of civility in society and they are stones that are all too often missing and we wonder why that foundation is crumbling.

Whether in the political arena or in community relationship it's a precious skill that builds bridges rather than walls.  In politics someone can be "sincerely wrong" and you can still be friends because you don't have to doubt their sincerity.  You can dispute a conclusion without having to destroy an individual. A leader can be wrong and not be evil.  I wish our political realm would remember this principle and begin to apply it to our national debates… and I wish we could apply it to our workplaces and our homes a little more too.

Sometimes we take things personally that really don't have anything to do with us at all (like children we all feel like we're the center of the universe!)  The next time someone lets you down, try saying something like this, "Oh I know you didn't mean to offend or dissapoint me, I know your heart, you would never do anything like that on purpose.  It's no big deal."  You just might make someone's day! 

Audrey Jeanne Roberts

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