I woke up to a call from my sister, Nancy this morning.  It was one of those "catch up" calls.  There are some wonderful things happening in her life, after a very long season of heartache and loss.  We think of her all the time and vice versa, but don't always get to the phone to connect.  Yet the most amazing thing is that it's always as if no time at all had passed, because we're connected at the heart.

I'm so blessed to have members of my family that I would truly pick to be my friends even if they weren't stuck with me , but I know some of you aren't quite so lucky.  Before you get jealous of my "perfect" family, however, trust me we too have some slightly "irregular" members!!!  What do you do when no matter how hard you try, you can't be close to your family?  You can find ways to create a new one for yourself!

Friends can, over time, become closer to your heart than a brother or sister.  There's an old fashioned saying, "Friends are family we choose for ourselves."  Perhaps you just don't quite connect with members of your family or you've found nothing but hurt and frustration whenever you've tried to be close.  Perhaps the solution is to seek deep fellowship elsewhere and readjust your expectations from the relationships you have with your blood relatives.  

I have many friends that I truly consider as family and have enjoyed relationship with their extended families as well.  I've shared Thanksgiving with my dear friend Sallylou's family, as well as attended funerals, weddings and graduations.  She's walked me through the long battle with cancer and the eventual death of my first husband, Jim Brennan.  She's held my hand in sorrow and kicked me in the backside when I was throwing a pity party and really needed it!  She's been as true a sister as you could ever have.  Though we share no blood relation, we are sisters of the heart and of the spirit.  Just as every family takes hard work and a long season of time to grow strong, so do friendships.  A great friendship can meet the deepest needs of your heart.

I wrote this in the beginning of my book, "The Heart of a Lasting Friendship" :

"Lifetime Friends… share their hopes and dreams, never worrying what the other thinks.  They keep each other's confidences providing a safe place to reveal their deepest fears and most heartfelt emotions.  They discover new insights and direction and are refreshed and encouraged after they spend time together.

They can laugh and be silly, giggle and play practical jokes, as well as cry together and comfort one another.  They value each other's opinion, especially when they differ.  Lifetime friends have learned how to be real with each other."

If you have family that you feel are true friends… take time to tell them that today.  If you have a true friend that is closer than a sister or mother… take time to tell her that too!  If you don't have either and your heart longs for it, Jesus' greatest desire is to be your friend and He'll lead you to someone who can help fill that place in your heart if you just ask Him to. 

"There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24b"

Audrey Jeanne Roberts